Last week, I shared with you my long journey suffering from anxiety. I described anxiety in two ways: as the tiger in the room that no one else can see, and as the childish, annoying sister I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. I also mentioned that even though I “own” my own tiger (not by personal choice), I have learned to domesticate it. Usually, it stays right next to me instead of in front of me.
When I have too much in my head, I get overwhelmed and tend to overthink. Trying to escape from my thoughts hasn’t worked very well, so what I’ve found truly helpful is to “schedule my thinking time.” We schedule many things during the day that we have to take care of, such as running errands, eating, working out, etc., but we rarely schedule time for our minds to think, analyze, and resolve some of those thoughts that ruminate all day. Instead, we push them away. I mean, who wants to deal with the uncomfortable feelings that thinking (especially negative thinking) brings?
Most mornings, I go for a walk and mindfully try to bring each of my ruminating thoughts to my attention, one by one. I listen to them and analyze them as much as possible. I also observe my body’s reactions to the thought and the emotion it generates. Then, I go home and continue with my day. For the rest of the day, when my ruminating thoughts try to get my attention, I gently push them away and let them know that I will give them time tomorrow during my walk.
With a lot of practice, my mind has learned that thinking is a scheduled activity for my morning walks, and it works… most of the time.
I truly believe that if we deny our mind from doing something it wants to do, it will start obsessing and wanting to do it even more. For example, try not to think of a blue elephant. See? I know that’s the first thing that came to your mind when I told you not to do it. Give your mind its time to think and explore, and show it who is in control. Start taming your tiger.
Vanessa Alba
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
(818) 927-1284
